This is an old thread, but I thought I would add my two cents in case others come across it.
What I do is use an electric tooth brush. I just turn it on touch the stem near the flowers for a few seconds. This beats the living daylights out of the tomatoes and there is no way the pollen isn't going to get spread around.
I currently have 4 tomato plants growing that just started to flower. I have 2 of the flowers showing pea sized green tomatoes now. I'm sure it won't be long before the other flowers do their thing.
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